Article by Renee Wood
The death of a loved one is always a tragic thing, no matter whether it has been long expected as the result of an illness like cancer or is sudden, such as the result of an auto accident. However, while death comes in a wide variety of forms, it always results in grief and a sense of loss and powerlessness. Helping others deal with the death of someone close to them can be difficult to do, but knowing the right steps can help.
Don’t Gloss Over the Death
Many people’s first instinct is to gloss over the death of a loved one with sayings like, “He’s in a better place now.” While the intention here is to provide comfort, it is an assault on the grieving person. They need compassion and love right now, not placation. Instead of glossing over the death, grieve with them. Cry with them, hold them while they weep and be there for them when they need you. There’s little that you can say to actually make things any better, as the healing process has to run its course through several stages.
Expect Anger to Be Present
Anger is one of the stages of grief, and you’ll need to expect it from anyone dealing with the death of a loved one. Anger is natural and should be accepted. Never admonish the person for being angry. Instead, show understanding and compassion. Accept that they are angry and tell them that you understand. Your job is to be supportive and caring, not judgmental or derisive. Anger is a natural response to bereavement, so do not belittle the grieving person for feeling this emotion.
Encourage Healing with a Sympathy Gift
Healing can take a very long time depending on the severity of the loss. Even those who seem to be affected very little by the death of a loved one are grieving inside. You can help encourage the healing process with a sympathy gift that comes from the heart. Of course, the right sympathy gift needs to be given. It should be personal and something that the recipient actually values. It should also contain a message of hope, love and compassion, whether that’s a full poem or only a few lines expressing the permanence of love in the face of death. Such a gift can act as a focal point for the bereaved, giving them the key to starting the healing process.
Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer Pet sympathy gifts as well as hope for healing hearts.